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Katie is happy.

Katie is looking forward to tomorrow.

Katie is hoping that she gets a good grade on her Spanish test from Monday.

Katie is loves Phantom of the Opera sing-alongs in French!

Katie is procrastinating.

Katie is a little more than useless.

Katie is trying again.

Katie is trying, again.

Katie is hoping for lots of comments etc. tomorrow. Best present ever?

Katie is needs to clean her room

study for finals

write Christmas letter

copy stuff into thanksgiving book

call one of her favorite people

eat brownies and ice cream. Oh yeah.

I feel like, I would like
To be somewhere else doing something that matters
And I'll admit here, while I sit here
My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather
Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit
and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all

But then you assure me
I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

So I say if I can't, do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trival, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it
Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all

But then you assure me
I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once
I'm a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right, to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything that I would ever know

I'm a little more than useless
When I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once
I'm a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

:-)

This seems to be en train de become my dumping ground for inspiring material.

I came across this quote in this month's Reader's Digest, in an interview with Denzell Washington.

They asked him what his life motto was, and he said, "Do what you got to do so that you can do what you want to do. And fail big."

I like it, but I think I'd like to change the last adjective to "trying."

Do what you gotta do so that you can do what you want to do. And fail trying.

die trying?

haha. I hope ...not? so? I hope not to die, but when I do, to die trying.

Failing big is just as bad (worse/better is debatable and a moot point) than failing small...but just giving up is the worst of all. (:-) If I'm going to make mistakes (*sigh*) I'd rather make them while trying, doing my best, than by giving up.

that is all.

by Lena Lathrop

(from “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”)

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the Hand above?
A woman’s heart, and a woman’s life--
And a woman’s wonderful love.

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy?
Demanding what other have died to win,
With the reckless dash of a boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out,
Manlike, you have questioned me.
Now stand at the bars of my woman’s soul
Until I shall question thee.
You require your mutton shall always be hot,
Your socks and your shirt be whole;
I require your heart be true as God’s stars
And as pure as His heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,
I require a far greater thing;
A seamstress you’re wanting for socks and shirts--
I look for a man and king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,
And a man that his Maker, God,
Shall look upon as He did on his first
And say, “It is very good.”

I am fair and young, but the rose may fade
From this soft young cheek one day;
Will you love me then ‘mid the falling leaves,
As you did ‘mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give this all, I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot be this, a laundress and cook
You can hire and little to pay;
But a woman’s heart and a woman’s life
Are not to be won that way.

“To girls...I pray this poem serves as a reminder to keep your standards high. Require all things that are ‘grand and true’. As you consider the possiblity of marraige, don’t lower your standards for a moment; any guy who asks you to do so isn’t worth your time. And to the guys: we have our work cut out for us, don't we? My hope is that you would truly grasp the costliness, the pricelessness, of a woman’s love. It is no small thing, no game, to invite a girl to accompany you through life. May we earn the right to make such a request by striving to be men of integrity - men whose hearts are oceans 'strong and true.' Then, and only then, should you stand at the bars of a woman’s soul and ask to gain entrance.”

~I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Joshua Harris

I HIGHLY recommend this book, whether you plan on kissing dating goodbye or not it has some good advice about how TO date too. How to go about it. Etc.

Sorry that my first post in awhile has to be a moralizing one (at least it's not DEmoralizing) (haha, sorry, that was baaaaad), but I must needs keep moving! :-)

this past week

One week ago, we were in the middle of girls' night/an extended starbucks adventure. That was some really good just fun girls time. (see pix on facebook.)

then, the crazy week began. It has basically been a whirlwind. First I was totally tired from staying up late for girls night, and then I realized I had two tests and a scholarship essay due on Friday. So, Wed I came home from classes and started studying spanish, studying geography, and working on the essay...

...and I stopped doing that Thursday night at about 9.

Needless to say, my work at home didn't get done, so I did all that yesterday and today.

I know. Not only do I have school after dinner, but also on weekends! The horror!

However, I didn't stress about things too much, I just did what I needed to do and I really hope the grades show it...please...lol.

And Hamlet is actually interesting and not too hard to understand, and my physics test wasn't too bad at all.

NOW, I would REALLY like to get together with some people. 2 hours of facebook were great to make sure I don't feel like I'm cut off from humans, but actual humans would be nice...

ah well. We have church and youth group tomorrow and I get to teach the preschoolers! :-D

And, no tests on the menu next week...that's one nice thing about having a bunch at the same time.

Leave some comments please! It will make me very happy!

I can't believe it's been a month since I last posted.

Needless to say, I have been busy.

school

school

more school

dance

piano

friendssssssss :-)

overall, life's going pretty well. As long as I don't think too hard about how life's going. :-D

but I have some people to contact and some jazz to get ready for, so I must needs keep this short.

much thanks to everyone who still cares enough to check this old thing.
:-)

I can't decide if I'm amazingly happy or ridiculously depressed.

But my favorite piano songs are the ones that carry that tension.

this is a Gina-type short, mysterious post, but don't worry, I'll do a post-summer review...soon...

:-)

:-(

:-)